Yea...i think i do still love shaniece even tho everyone is mad that i still do but i dont kno love is not something you can just give up!!  I wish i could just find the perfect one that i can be myself with and who will treat me with care and make me feel that im worth being with them and that they really love me!!  I can tell Shaniece is working on it but i dont kno i think she could try a little harder!!  Maybe that one ive been looking for is rite there just waiting for me or maybe there isnt one!!  I dont kno im so confused expecially goin thro that shit with courtney that was some fucked up shit but it dont matter nomore!!  Shit happens feelings change i just kno one thing my feelings for neone will never change b/c when i say something i mean it (well most of it)  When i tell you how i feel i mean it, its not just saying what i think you want to hear i tell the truth!!  I wish i could find someone who would treat me with care like i treat them...i guess i have to keep W...I...S...H...I...N...G!!!  Even tho i dont think wishes come tru!!!

Sometimes i wish you didnt meet her b/c thats all i hear about now days!! Sometimes i pray to God that youll break up with her!!  You once told me that you would look forward in coming to skewl to see me and that i was the first girl that you loved and liked u also sayd ud always be there 4 me, and im the only one who really figured u out!!  u told me that i was really special to you and that i always would be well the past 3 months you have made me feel like total shit and you ask everyone why im mad at you when i told you why i was...for you to ditch me this hole summer for you girlfriend was wrong you couldnt even give me one day...i cant even tell you i love you nemore b/c i kno when you say it back you dont mean it b/c if you did mean it you wouldnt have treat me the way you have and are!!!  The person i am talking about should kno who they are if they dont then they must be blind b/c ive gave them so many red flags...but its w/e i guess theyll never understand!!